A Poem by Nathan Dueck

Call Now For the Veg-o-Matic!

Veg-o-Matic! Introducing these all-new, easy-to-use products, the Dial-o-Matic and the Mince-o-Matic,
You won’t believe all the innovative products available from K-tel, (get them all from K-tel,)
You won’t believe all the products seen on TV work as well As-Seen-On-TV,
Scrub-A-Dub, Steam-a-Way, Dream-A-Drape, Fold-a-Way Dish Rack As-Seen-On-TV,
Universal Knife Set and Feather Touch Knife,
Clever Cutter, Cut-All Super Saw, Bonsia Blade, and Picam: The Amazing Knife,
Food Slicer, Rap’tou, Jaws, and The BlitzhackerFood Chopper,
Kwik Silver, Krazy Katch, and the Bedazzler,
Smooth Magique, Plant, Hair, and Kitchen Magician, Magic Kards,
Miracle Brite, Miracle Hanger, Miracle Spray Gun, the Miracle Kleen and Brush,
Miracle Slurp-Eez, Ezy-Kleen, E-Z Tracer, EZIDRY, Easy Stitch,
Go Go Comb, Comb Gray Away, Vision Guard Sunglasses, Tiara, Instant Nail,
Power Pack Kit, Power Screwdriver, Power Stepper,
Sentry, Secure-Lock, Pinkerton Defender,
Multi-Sharpener, -Mixer, and -Exerciser, Multi-7,
Lustre 7, GONE: Great On Nearly Everything,
Slim’N’Slender, Tender’n’Spice, Style ’N Fit,
Snow-Bloc Maker, Streek, Screw, and Zipp Ball, the Whizbee;
And that’s not all. Call in the next hour to receive an additional discount on your entire order. But wait, there’s more!
Hooked on Classics, on Romance, on Tchaikovsky, on Mozart,
20 Original Hits, 20 Original Stars,
Chart Action, Explosion, and Blasters, Country Chart Busters, Chart Stars,
Super Bloopers, Goofy Greats, all the Looney Tunes, and those Kooky Toones,
The Best of Andrew Lloyd Webber, of Barry White, of Neil Diamond, of Lou Rawls, of Ray Stevens,
Ripe Rockers, Rock Rules OK, Rock Anthems, Rip it Up Rock ‘n Roll,
Dance Dance Dance and Aerobic Dancing with Doris D,
A Musical Journey, Captain of the Starship: William Shatner Live, and Blast Off,
Beatwaves, The Beat, The Beat Goes On, Heartbreak, The Heart Breakers, and Broken Hearts,
Denim, Denim Country, Country Countdown,
A Touch of Country, Free Country, the Country Gentlemen, the Country Cavalcade Vol. 1,
The Number Ones, One Hit Wonders, and One Shining Moment,
Funky Disco and Disco Dazzler, Dynamite, and Eclipse, Discover Me,
Gems of the 70s, Golden Greats of the 60s, Precious Memories from the 50s,
MiniPop Kids sing all of today’s top hits;
Now, you won’t find these products available in stores, but only from K-tel,
Call now to get them from K-tel!

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