A Poem by Nathan Dueck

Call Now For the Veg-o-Matic!

Veg-o-Matic! Introducing these all-new, easy-to-use products, the Dial-o-Matic and the Mince-o-Matic,
You won’t believe all the innovative products available from K-tel, (get them all from K-tel,)
You won’t believe all the products seen on TV work as well As-Seen-On-TV,
Scrub-A-Dub, Steam-a-Way, Dream-A-Drape, Fold-a-Way Dish Rack As-Seen-On-TV,
Universal Knife Set and Feather Touch Knife,
Clever Cutter, Cut-All Super Saw, Bonsia Blade, and Picam: The Amazing Knife,
Food Slicer, Rap’tou, Jaws, and The BlitzhackerFood Chopper,
Kwik Silver, Krazy Katch, and the Bedazzler,
Smooth Magique, Plant, Hair, and Kitchen Magician, Magic Kards,
Miracle Brite, Miracle Hanger, Miracle Spray Gun, the Miracle Kleen and Brush,
Miracle Slurp-Eez, Ezy-Kleen, E-Z Tracer, EZIDRY, Easy Stitch,
Go Go Comb, Comb Gray Away, Vision Guard Sunglasses, Tiara, Instant Nail,
Power Pack Kit, Power Screwdriver, Power Stepper,
Sentry, Secure-Lock, Pinkerton Defender,
Multi-Sharpener, -Mixer, and -Exerciser, Multi-7,
Lustre 7, GONE: Great On Nearly Everything,
Slim’N’Slender, Tender’n’Spice, Style ’N Fit,
Snow-Bloc Maker, Streek, Screw, and Zipp Ball, the Whizbee;
And that’s not all. Call in the next hour to receive an additional discount on your entire order. But wait, there’s more!
Hooked on Classics, on Romance, on Tchaikovsky, on Mozart,
20 Original Hits, 20 Original Stars,
Chart Action, Explosion, and Blasters, Country Chart Busters, Chart Stars,
Super Bloopers, Goofy Greats, all the Looney Tunes, and those Kooky Toones,
The Best of Andrew Lloyd Webber, of Barry White, of Neil Diamond, of Lou Rawls, of Ray Stevens,
Ripe Rockers, Rock Rules OK, Rock Anthems, Rip it Up Rock ‘n Roll,
Dance Dance Dance and Aerobic Dancing with Doris D,
A Musical Journey, Captain of the Starship: William Shatner Live, and Blast Off,
Beatwaves, The Beat, The Beat Goes On, Heartbreak, The Heart Breakers, and Broken Hearts,
Denim, Denim Country, Country Countdown,
A Touch of Country, Free Country, the Country Gentlemen, the Country Cavalcade Vol. 1,
The Number Ones, One Hit Wonders, and One Shining Moment,
Funky Disco and Disco Dazzler, Dynamite, and Eclipse, Discover Me,
Gems of the 70s, Golden Greats of the 60s, Precious Memories from the 50s,
MiniPop Kids sing all of today’s top hits;
Now, you won’t find these products available in stores, but only from K-tel,
Call now to get them from K-tel!

Be Sociable, Share!


  • 27 Thoughts About CanLit

    By Pasha Malla

    1. On February 14 and 15, 2014, the Canada Council for the Arts hosted its first-ever National Forum on the Literary Arts in Montreal. Some 250-odd people from various sectors of the publishing industry—editors, writers, publishers, agents, librarians, spoken word poets, etc.—converged in the basement of a McGill student residence to bilingually address the future of literature in this country. Participants were not remunerated for their time, although travel, hotels, and some dubiously palatable catering were provided by the Council. MORE >

  • Talking about Talking about CanLit on the Radio

    By Michael Elves

    Like all readers, I share the same vantage point – staring at the words printed between two covers (or perhaps the pixels dancing across a screen if you’re not a Luddite like myself) – reading what an author has written and attempting to hear what they’re actually saying. MORE >


New Work


Book Reviews

  • ‘Boy Lost in Wild’ by Brenda Hasiuk

    Boy Lost in WildReviewed by Matthew Alcock

    Brenda Hasiuk has previously published two YA novels, Where the Rocks Say Your Name (2006), and Your Constant Star (2014), books which received notices like this one in Kirkus Reviews: “a superb novel by a rising Canadian literary star…” Boy Lost in Wild is Hasiuk’s first published collection of short stories. MORE >

  • ‘Mirror on the Floor’ by George Bowering

    Mirror coverReviewed by Victor Enns

    Puff and blow, puff and blow. Damn. Spill some of the Jameson, three fingers poured over just the right amount of ice, stumbling on the steps to the writing studio. Problem, the Grolsch in the other hand. MORE >

  • ‘Sebastiano’s Vine’ by Carmelo Militano

    Sebastiano's Vine coverReviewed by Michael Carrino

    Carmelo Militano is a Winnipeg poet, essayist, and with the publication of his novella Sebastiano’s Vine, a writer of exceptional fiction. He was born in Cosoleto, Italy and immigrated to Canada as a child with his parents. MORE >

  • ‘The Pull Of The Moon’ by Julie Paul

    The Pull of the Moon coverReviewed by Rosemary Richings

    The Pull Of The Moon is a short story collection which confronts the omnipresent flaws in our family, love, and social lives. MORE >

  • ‘According to Plan’ by Rob Kovitz

    According to Plan coverReviewed by Alison Gillmor

    According to Plan, the new hybrid literary work from Rob Kovitz, is a massive, madly ambitious super-cut of a book. MORE >

  • Subscribe2